A fun comment

By anonymous

Great story as always from a great author.

On the other hand I feel like im being stalked because of the number of named characters that match people that are in my immediate circle. Even with the unique spelling of some names

I intentionally pick common names, so it shouldn’t be too surprising that someone would know people with the same first names. However, the comment implies to me that my characters don’t just have the first names of people in the commenter’s immediate circle, but also have at least some of their personality. I take that as a compliment, that my characters are realistic enough that someone could see people they know as those characters.

A Super-nice comment I got today

It’s an anonymous comment on “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister”

I deeply appreciate your expositions of humanity in all of your stories. In “Comforting my Sister” you surprised me by having the brother grow into having empathy for the abuser, and through that act of “killing with kindness” at least those three characters grow. I’d like to imagine that someday Mom, Dad, the other ex-girlfriend and her violent partner all get to grow as well.
In this story, I initially thought Caitlin was acting to maintain the rejection of Rebecca, and thereby teaching Thomas how to do so for himself. Your writing immediately deepened my appreciation of her character; despite (because of?) her fury with Rebecca and her value differences with Rebecca, Thomas, and fundamentalism, she consciously allowed a path to forgiveness/growth and helped lead them all through it. Though Thomas feels he is only Student and she is always Master due to the difference in social skills, I believe Caitlin looks up to her brother’s empathy and deeply values it as a concrete model when she chooses to put aside her judgments and offer another chance. That Rebecca got to surprise Caitlin by asking for a sex lesson, and she in turn needing to ask Thomas for help getting in the mood (juxtaposed with the personal lubricant bit!), was the final bit that completely sold me on the humanity/reality of those three, Caitlin especially. That is to say, that’s where Caitlin’s growth was first confirmed, and then beyond all doubt in the epilogue; she would have been carrying a gnawing worry about her choice to follow her brother’s (puppy dog like?) heart instead of her own judgment. Thomas knows better “what to do” and Caitlin knows better “how to do it”; I wonder if Caitlin will impress upon Thomas that they are “equivalent but different”.
I wonder how much the two are two sides of you; and then I notice that Rebecca is conspicuously absent from that regard. I feel as if a big fish swam under me, just a shadow on the water’s surface: “Is Rebecca just as important to you?” … “Did I miss something important?” … “Should I read it again?”. I never imagined I might become motivated to grow and learn from “reading a sex story”.
Jacob is a flat villain, obviously, and if I had read but one of your stories and for some reason was pressed to offer a critique I might mention so. Rather, I think it is masterful of you to have, in this story, maintained the villain as such, but in “Comforting my Sister” to demonstrate the power of “sympathy for the devil”. I believe the cycle of abuse ends when we grow past “always justice” or “always empathy” (to “it’s complicated”?). Hearing that message in your work is reassuring.
I confess this is my first note of appreciation to an author of any kind. I came here looking only for a cheap thrill, and instead I find myself changed. Thank you for sharing your stories.

P.S. Anonymous, yes, but a conscious choice and not from Cowardice. I’d rather you imagine another thousand readers with the same feelings but no voice than to attach a singular name.

Versioning as I write

Every so often, I make a copy of the story I’m working on keep the old version of it hanging around. As I use Scrivener, that’s easy to do. The prior version are treated as chapters, so it’s easy to navigate back to them.

The reason I do this is occasionally I’ll decide to reinstate sections I’ve ripped out of a story. Probably the biggest section I’ve ever reinstated was the scene early in “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister” where Thomas’ girlfriend Rebecca does a strip tease for him. I wrote it and then took it out as I felt like people wouldn’t be that interested in a sexy scene between Thomas and his girlfriend and that I wanted to get to the incest part of the story faster. But someone convinced me that it should go back so readers would see why Rebecca appealed so much to Thomas that he’d want to get back together with her at the end of the story.

I’ve thought of this as I’m about to reinstate a number of sections in “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister” that I had ripped out.

Over the weekend…

Usually, I think over and over about a story during dead time like when I’m driving a car. But then I write the story, and I get it out of my head. Last weekend, for the first time in a while, I thought a lot about “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister”. I immersed in the story idea. I thought of a number of changes to scenes to hopefully improve the story.

Yesterday, I started making those changes. I had been editing the story, and most of the changes where in the part of the story I had stopped editing before the weekend. I made those changes.

It’s the changes that I thought of later in the story that I’m now a little fuzzy on. Hopefully, my muse will kick in once I get to editing that part of the story.

I write the stories I want to write, not the stories I want to read, which can lead to some weirdness

I’ve been going through some introspection lately. “Why do people like my stories?” “Do a lot of people really like my stories?” “Why don’t other writers try to write like me?”

One advantage of having done that introspection is I’m a little more aware now of my stories. The story I’m currently working on is “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister”. I wanted a story where the sister flirted with her brother. Except she wouldn’t flirt directly with her brother, so she flirts with his friends. At some point, I came up with the idea of having a flirting workshop and stuck that in the story. As I’m editing it now, I realize that the flirting workshop doesn’t fit in an incest story. The workshop is all about the sister’s best friend teaching three other friends how to flirt with the brother being the target of the flirting. There’s nothing incestuous about it. In fact, it’s the opposite of incestuous as it’s the brother flirting with all these women besides his sister. The original version of the flirting workshop really didn’t belong in an I/T story as the sister basically disappeared during the flirting workshop. If I was reading the story, I think I’d be thinking “Why is this in an I/T story?”

But I’m writing the story. A flirting workshop is a cool idea. I enjoyed writing it. In it goes.

Having a female non-family member in an incest story

One thing I’ve done several times is have a female non-family member in an incest story.

  • In my first story “Heather and Michael”, Maddie as a frenemy of Heather who gets Heather and Michael to kiss at a speed-dating party. That gets the the two twins on the path to being a couple. Minor role, no one comments on her
  • In “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister”, Rebecca dumps Thomas, leading to Thomas sharing a cabin with his sister Caitlin. Thomas and Caitlin become a couple, but at the end of the cruise Caitlin tells Thomas that their relationship won’t work long-term. Caitlin then helps Rebecca and Thomas to get back together. Many people didn’t like that Rebecca and Thomas got back together and would have preferred that Caitlin and Thomas keep going
  • In “My Day as a Pool Boy”, Dylan is attracted to his sister’s friend Alex. Dylan does have a soft spot for his sister Emily. At the end, Alex arranges for Dylan to walk in on her having sex with Emily. Alex explains that Emily’s first time at sex had been a horrible experience with a football player and was refusing to consider dating guys. Alex talks Dylan into having sex with Emily, which she enjoys. No comments on Alex
  • In “A Week at the Lake with My Sister”, Kaitlyn asks her brother Brandon to start dating her best friend Joanna. Brandon and Joanna develop a strong relationship. Kaitlyn works to break them up so she can swap boyfriends with Joanna. Eventually, Kaitlyn and Joanna agree to share Brandon. Even though the story has good ratings, I’ve gotten lots of negative comments about Brandon, Kaitlyn and Joanna

This matters because I’m editing now another story with a major character who is a female non-family member. She’s something like Alex – the MMC is attracted to her and she’s working to bring the brother and sister together. And when I’m done with that, I’m going to work on alternative versions of the fourth and fifth chapters of “A Week at the Lake with My Sister” as I’m tired of getting negative comments on them. I got two more today

Another thought on Star Wars

Thinking on this, I realized something last night. As I said, Kylo Ren was the protagonist of the series and his redemption was required for the ultimate evil of the galaxy to be defeated. But at the end of The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren is the ultimate evil of the galaxy. This meant that for SW IX to work, someone had to supplant Kylo Ren as the ultimate evil of the galaxy in order for Kylo Ren to be able to help defeat the ultimate evil of the galaxy.

The last Star Wars trilogy was terribly flawed

Rey is suppose to be the protagonist of the trilogy. The Force Awakens spends a long time telling her back story, and then her back story is immediately discarded. Her skills as a scavenger are never used, her trademark quarterstaff-type weapon is never used once she leaves Jakku even though she constantly carries it with her, she never discusses her life as a scavenger, etc. She has almost no personality. Her two personality traits is that she’s fond of small droids, and she’s smitten with Kylo Ren despite him being a horrible person.

Kylo Ren is the real protagonist of the trilogy. It’s clearly once Han confronts Kylo that evil will only be defeated after Kylo is redeemed, which will happen during or just before the final battle, much like in the first trilogy evil could only be defeated once Darth Vader was redeemed. Kylo is much like the six-year-old Anthony Fremont in the Twilight Zone episode It’s a Good Life. In that episode, Anthony has such immense mental powers that everyone in his small town is terrified of him. Like Anthony, Kylo is spoiled and immature, but no one stands up to him. Like Anthony, Kylo does whatever he wants whenever he wants. In the original trilogy, Darth Vader was always following the Emperor’s orders. In the last trilogy, Kylo Ren never says that he’s following Snoke’s orders. But because the audience knows that evil can only be defeated by a redeemed Kylo Ren, we too are forced to constantly forgive Kylo’s horrific actions.

The only thing that Kylo wants but can’t have is Rey. In the second and third movies, Kylo can initiate conversations with Rey. He’s constantly abusive in those conversations, trying to beat down Rey’s self-esteem to the point where she’ll submit to him. Rey never stands up to Kylo in those conversations, telling him he’s an awful person that she doesn’t want to talk to. Instead, she listens as he rips her to shreds, apparently even more smitten with him once the conversation is done.

There are so many other terrible flaws that should have stopped at the pitch-meeting level, but one that really stands out is that the First Order is a ridiculous choice as the evil organization. It’s pure evil for the sake of pure evil. It has no back story or ideology. It’s far, far more powerful and technology advanced than any other planetary organizations, but no reason is given as to why. Almost no one seems to like living under the First Order. Yet, no one stands up to the First Order internally or externally except for the few members of the Resistance.

That to me is the message of the last trilogy – there’s no ramifications for doing what you do. People will like you or hate you regardless of what you do or what you’ve done because you are who you are regardless of what you do. The best example of that is how Poe and Finn treat Rey after they think she’s killed Chewbacca. They tell her that it’s no big deal and not to worry about it, that she’s still Rey even though she killed an adored hero and close personal friend. And I think that’s a terrible message.

Story idea I’m playing with

It’s only a beginning:

I made small talk with the floor supervisor Gary until we saw Lindsay come onto the shop floor with two people. Lindsay was in Sales, and I had taken her and perspective customers on factory tours many times. As I was the youngest of the process engineers, factory tours fell to me. As the three people walked towards us, I scanned them to make sure that they were gowned correctly. As we were a high-tech manufacturing facility, we worked hard to prevent dust and hair from getting into the air.

When Lindsay joined us, she started making introductions. “This is Veronica Shugar, a buyer from Garza-Tech, and Bob Anderson, one of their design engineers.” Veronica was a white woman in her forties, Bob was a black man in his fifties. As all of our hands were gloved, Gary and I raised our hands in welcome to Veronica and Bob. They returned the hand raise.

“This is one of our floor supervisors, Gary…I always have problems with this name…Gary Gschwendtner.”

“You said it perfectly, Lindsay”.

“And this one of our process engineers, Winston C.”

I nodded and said, “Welcome to RDL’s factory floor.”

Veronica asked, “Is your last name S-E-A or C-E-E?”

“It’s C-period.”

A confusion filled Veronica’s face. “What’s your email address?”

“Winston, dot, C, dot, at sign, the company name dot com.”

Veronica looked even more confused. “What is your last name then?”

Lindsay said, “Winston is the only ‘Winston’ in our company, so we never have to mention his last name. Isn’t that right, Winston?”

“Indeed.” In fact, HR had made it clear to all employees that they were to never say or even discuss my last name.

To preclude anymore discussion of my last name, I started the factory tour. “This is the start of our manufacturing process. All of our raw materials come into the room through that door.” I pointed to four foot by four foot door that one of the floor workers was removing material from. “The door on the other side can’t be opened while the door is opened.”

Veronica asked, “Is your last name ‘Churchill’, by any chance?”

I was tempted to say that my last name was not ‘Churchill’, but a very, very rare English name, but HR had instructed me to never give any hints about my last name including answering yes/no questions about it.

“When I was in college, I put ‘Winston C.’ on my resume when I applied here, and that got me eventually hired. I’ve used ‘Winston C.’ ever since. Kind of a good luck thing.” That was all HR allowed me to say.

Before Veronica could say anything more, I resumed the factory tour. “The raw materials come to this machine, where they are ultra-cleaned.” I described the cleaning procedure.

Veronica asked, “Is RDL afraid companies will hire you away, so you can’t give your last name?”

Lindsay said, “Something like that. The heart of our manufacturing process is a company secret that our employees sign very stringent NDA’s to never discuss. Winston is a rising star in our process engineering department.” Lindsay smiled at me. It was a nice compliment and I wished it was true, but wasn’t.

What RDL was afraid of was sexual harassment lawsuits. HR brought up with me that Miller Brewing company got sued when one of its managers talked about a Seinfeld episode where Seinfeld’s character can only remember that name of his date rhymed with a body part but couldn’t remember which one. After his friends make several ridiculous guesses, Seinfeld remembers that his date’s name was “Dolores”. A female direct report didn’t get the joke. The manager showed her a photocopied page of a dictionary and pointed out the body part referenced by the joke. She filed for sexual harassment. My last name was a term for a body part that couldn’t be said on the company’s premises. Hence the ban on my last name.

I heard from behind us, “Winston, that’s a big block you’ve got there.”

I turned and when facing away from Veronica and Bob I rolled my eyes. “We’ll get out of your way shortly, Teresa.” Teresa was one of the floor workers, and she was pushing a cart with raw material on it. She was the type of person that HR had in mind when they said no one could say or discuss my last name.

As I turned back to Veronica and Bob, Teresa said, “This raw material is fresh off the dock.”

I resisted rolling my eyes again. I finished telling Veronica and Bob about our cleaning process and moved away from the cleaning machine. “There you go, Teresa.”

“Thanks. You didn’t set me too far back on the clock.”

Some good news

A few days ago, I wrote Laurel, the owner/person in charge of accepting stories of Literotica.

My story “A Week at the Lake with My Sister” is five chapters. The last two chapters get a lot of negative comments despite having good ratings. I’m considering writing alternative versions of those two chapters to hopefully address the issues that cause the negative comments. I was thinking they’d be named “A Week at the Lake with My Sister Ch. 4A” and “A Week at the Lake with My Sister Ch. 5A”. I’d then add information to chapters 3-5 to direct readers to the alternative chapters. Are you okay with me doing that?

Today, she wrote back:

We’d have no problem with that whatsoever. We generally discourage reposting mildly grammatically edited versions of published stories as “new” because readers get annoyed at what they see as not-new stories being presented as new. However, there are many cases of authors doing what you’re describing – revisiting a chapter and changing the plot/storyline to some degree, or changing the ending, etc – and readers seem to not mind this.

That clears me to write the two alternative chapters after I finish “A Flirting Workshop with My Sister”. Not sure I’ll write them then as I have other things I may prefer to work on, but it’s now an option.