2/27 Writing Status

The first act of “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister” is ready for beta-reading. I was pleased with how pruning the story down went. I cut almost 1100 words out of the story, so it is at 17.5K words now.

As it has been a while since the last time I did a story, I don’t know if any of the beta-readers I used last time are still checking the email they used when they beta-read for me last time. I mailed a copy of the story to the three beta-readers I used last time.

I contacted five new editors on Literotica.com to see if they want to beta-read for me. I’ll see if any of them write back.

Now, to finish Act II while they are reading Act I.

2/26 Writing Status

I’ve been struggling with the fact that my latest story “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister” is so big (over 30K words). I hopped around while I wrote it so there are places here and there that need to be finish. The size of it has been daunting and I haven’t made much progress on it.

My writing process has been:
* First pass – write the story
* Second pass – read over the story and edit it as I read
* Third pass – look specifically for words that I have problems with overusing – “started”, “began”, “here”, “just”, “still”, “really”, “then”, words that end in “ly”, “that”
* Fourth pass – final read through
* Send to beta readers
* Incorporate their feedback
* Send to editor
* Incorporate most of the editor’s changes
* Publish

The story splits nicely into two acts and my current plan is to focus on an act at a time. Yesterday, I finished my second pass of the first act which included finishing a sex scene that I had started (basically combining a little of the first pass with the second pass). The first act is now 18,606 words, which is a little over five Literotica pages. The unfinished second act is at 14,936 words.

I’m going to insert a new pass into my process this time where I am going to concentrate on reducing wordiness. Stephen King tries to cut out 10% of his words during his second pass. I don’t know if that is a realistic goal for me or not. After that, it’ll be time to search for my problem words. That is getting faster with each new story as I learn to avoid overusing my problem words as I write.

When I am done with the second pass, a question for me is do I send the story out to beta-readers now? The story probably won’t change much, so now would be a fine time for a beta-reader to catch plot holes, actions that are out of character or the need to flush out a facet of the story. I always have this huge urge at this point to share it with someone just to verify that the story doesn’t suck. Still, there isn’t any big rush and I have learned that I get the most value out of my beta-readers when the story is fully buffed.

A review of “Sister Has a Plan”

From here:

Okay, just because I want to motivate myself, I’ll take stories at random and review it. This time, I’m reviewing Sister Has a Plan by 8letters. Here’s the link to the story if anyone else is interested in giving it a read: http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh…ter-has-a-plan

The first thing I notice in your story, or any story for that matter, is the beginning. Yours was a bit…off mark. I get what you’re wanting to mean, but I feel that it wasn’t aptly written, and hence you lost the impact it was meant to have. An excerpt:

It was like that magic trick where the magician has the the girl walk through the door and closes it after her, and then when he re-opens it, there is a tiger instead of a girl. Except this time, instead of a girl having morphed into a tiger, my sister had gone from being a chunky wild child to a good-looking woman.

I would’ve tried something short, with fewer words, to retain the impact. Something that engages the reader instantly:

Have you ever seen the magic trick where a girl walks inside a door and when the magician opens it after sometime, there’s a tiger instead? Except here, instead of a tiger, there stood a beautiful woman, a far cry from the chubby wild child I was familiar with from this morning.

Stop laughing! I know it’s not the best, but try to understand what I’m trying to convey. Reduce the wordiness and write your story in fewer words. Leave out words that are understood and include words that aid in creating the visual scenery you’re trying to create.

Also, you used the word “chunky” too much in the beginning, more than I would have preferred. It sounds harsh and jarring. Try a different word, like “chubby”, like I did in the excerpt.

And dude! In Erotica, we readers prefer that you, the author, don’t describe something which is off-putting for us like you did here:

My sister wasn’t model beautiful – her nose was a little too large and some of her teeth weren’t straight, but her full lips curved easily into a dazzling smile.

Cut that “her nose was too large” and stuff. Just describe what’s so beautiful about her. Like this:

My sister wasn’t exactly model beautiful, but she was very pretty. Her full lips curved easily into a dazzling smile.


Your story gets a bit tedious to read after the first few paragraphs. The wordiness that I’ve mentioned earlier hit my head big time. Look, I know you already gave a disclaimer in the beginning that it’s going to be a slow evolving one, but it doesn’t meant that it has to be boring. Cut the flab and make your story worth reading.

After the aforementioned shenanigans, I like the direction of the plot. The story is realistic enough to be believable. Not the typical brother-fucked-sister-and-everyone-is-happy that I usually get to read. I think you did a great job in the Plot department. Other than the wordiness, which slowed down the pace and my reading interest, I don’t think I can find any fault with your story.

My thoughts on how to attract readers

My reply to someone’s thoughts on the how do YOU attract readers thread on Literotica.com:

The title needs to generate strong erotic interest.

The story description should also be a quick zinger that really stimulates erotic interest.

For the incest category, I think the title needs to tell the reader quickly what type of incest the story is about. I think most incest readers are looking for their favorite type(s) of incest. “Milk and Cookies” doesn’t help with that. The title and story description should hint at the most intriguing part of your story. “My Daughter, the Porn Star” would have identified the story as a father/daughter story and given some hint to the story line (daughter is a porn star). If the photo shoot was a major scene in the story, then the description should have referenced it “Watching one of her photo sessions had me longing for more”.

Put a lot of thought into the title and the description because if they aren’t appealing, people aren’t going to click on the link and see your great writing.

People read Literotica for a quick erotic hit; they’re not looking for art, or subtle nuances, or slow character development. They’ve literally got the mouse in one hand, and their dick in the other. Write with that in mind. Simple plot lines, descriptive graphic sex, rapid development, short stories.

Write single, stand alone stories, not chapters; and keep the length at 10,000 words or less. Longer than that, the hand lotion dries out and friction sets in. Don’t piss off the reader.

I disagree on length. My “Cycling Weekends with Sis” was an extraordinary success for me at 187015 views, 1700 votes, 73 comments. It was 11K words. My “Sister Has a Plan” has done very well (4.62 score, 94381 views, 957 votes, 25 comments) and is 13K words. I don’t think either had simple plot lines. Both had at least one erotic scene in the middle of the story to wet the readers’ whistle.

If you do write a chapters story, finish it; don’t leave it unfinished. (And if I recall correctly, I’ve left my main protagonist in the ‘Sex Island’ series chained to a bed for the last month. Perhaps I should go rescue him.)

I’ve done one chapter story, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Still, I would recommend that if you are doing a chapter story:
* Have all the chapters done and submit them all at once
* There has to be something new in each chapter. It might be an escalation in the sexual relationship (i.e. chapter one, the girl give the boy a hand job and each chapter slowly develops until in chapter six they fuck). It might be a new sex partner (a guy fucks a different daughter in a family). If the following chapters are the same characters from chapter one have the same type of sex, people will tune out

2/16 Writing Status

I took a break from “Cruise Doubledate with my Sister” to work on another story, “My Brother Is my Inspiration”. The second story is over 18K words (almost 5 Literotica pages) and is maybe halfway done. I have started back on “Cruise Doubledate with my Sister”, which is at 33k words (9 Literotica pages). I think it was a mistake to jump around while writing it. I am not sure how much more I will write – hopefully less than 5k words. Second pass is going to be a bitch as it is so big and I have written it over so such a long period of time.