My editor wrote:
You’re going to want to kill me, but I thought of something. The cabin scene with the striptease is AFTER Rebecca runs into Jacob. At this point, she’s thinking that Jacob is the answer to her prayers (not Caitlin, as it turned out). With that being her mindset, maybe the striptease sequence isn’t all that realistic. Maybe it’s better if at that point she seems distracted – not bitchy, just stand-offish – and purposefully avoids any kind of sexual activity with Thomas, since she’s feeling that God has sent her Jacob to take Thomas’s place. The discussion of whether or not she’d fucked Jacob made her seem more bitchy, so maybe have them discuss her relationship with Jacob in a more fatalistic way – the way she’s thinking about it at this time.
I think it’s fine the way it is. At the time of the striptease, she’s thinking that Jacob is seriously involved with Caitlin. It’s only after Jacob tells her that he’s close to breaking up with Caitlin (while Thomas and Caitlin are taking a walk) that she begins to consider the possibility of getting back together with Jacob.
Sunday morning, I had Caitlin go in search of Jacob to offer him a bribe:
“I’ll go look for Jacob and offer to pay him to stick to our story. Can you fund that, Thomas?”
“I can get two hundred dollars on the way to the airport if we can find an ATM.”
“That should do.”
“Won’t he take the money and still tell people what really happened?” asked Rebecca.
“I don’t think so. The cruise was a disaster for him too. He broke up with two women, both of whom think he’s a jerk. When you left him, he was plunging deep in debt. I think he’ll want to avoid talking about the cruise as much as we do.” Caitlin gave us an ironic smile. “And for people to believe him if he did tell him the truth, they’d have to accept that you went from being in love with Thomas to being in love with Jacob to back being in love with Thomas within a week. What are the chances of you doing that?” Caitlin winked at me. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll be gone long enough for you two to make love again. There’s nothing like a slow morning fuck.”
My editor didn’t like that at all:
she was just going to kill Jacob for spending all of her money and now she’s going to pay him for his silence? I’d rather she go threaten to beat the shit out of him if he didn’t agree to comply and make him bet his balls on it.
I replied back:
How is she going to know if he tells anyone about the trip? He doesn’t live close to her. It’s unlikely that any of his co-workers at the truck stop are friends of Caitlin’s. A weak threat is going to make him more likely to tell everyone to prove that he isn’t afraid of Caitlin. She asking him to do the right thing for Rebecca and a bribe is way of sweetening the request
My editor responded:
I didn’t see the point of involving Jacob in the first place. They won’t be in contact with him any more, Rebecca and Thomas live well outside of his sphere of influence, and he didn’t know of the incestuous relationship. Rebecca unceremoniously dumped his ass. As I said, Caitlin had just finished freaking out because he’d spent all of her money, so I don’t see why she’d choose to buy his silence – to what purpose? From what I’ve seen of Caitlin, I don’t believe her capable of making a “weak threat.”
I couldn’t argue with that and re-wrote that part of the story.