Author’s Notes for “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister”

What was the inspiration for this story?
I saw a headline for some article on the Internet about people being sick on a cruise. I had read an article earlier about people who got sick on a cruise were frustrated that the only compensation that got from the cruise line for a week of hell was a voucher for another cruise. Bam! That gave me the idea of a sister doing a cruise with her brother because she had gone on a cruise with her friends, they all got sick, she bought her vouchers and needed to use them. What would push the sister and brother together? It was a short hop to their dates for the cruise knew each other before and wind up dumping the brother and sister to go off by themselves. The brother and sister had to live in different places for that to work. At that point, the brother and sister were going to be in love forever. Then I thought about what if they were discovered on the last night of the cruise. That led me to the idea of the girlfriend trying to restore the relationship.

Now, I was faced with the challenge of justifying the girlfriend dumping the brother and then a few days later wanting to get back with him. I had read an article on a woman leaving the purity movement and that gave me the idea of the girlfriend being driven to dump the brother because of religious guilt. After that, everything was just details. I pulled the details of Rebecca’s romance with Paul from that article.

I looked for a name for the brother’s girlfriend that would be picked by a fundamentalist family. I was hoping for a New Testament name, but didn’t find any I liked. I finally picked “Rebecca”. Then I wondered about going with “Rebekah”. “Rebekah” turns out to be Jewish. However, researching “Rebekah” led me to “Rebekah Mikaelson”, which was something like the look I wanted for Rebecca. So I decided to model Rebecca after Claire Holt. As I was researching that, I came across a picture of Phoebe Tonkin, Claire Holt’s co-star on the “H20: Just Add Water”. She looked very different from Claire Holt and I decided to model the sister after her. At some point, I jettisoned modeling the girls after Claire Holt and Phoebe Tonkin and went with the more generic short, blond cheerleader and Italian amazon.

Caitlin and Thomas came off the SSA babe name list. I thought briefly about having them call each other “Kate” and “Tom” when alone, but decided it worked better with Rebecca if they were use to always using full names. Another advantage of Thomas was that Jacob could make an ass of himself by calling him “Tom” and “Tommy”. Jacob was originally going to be “Jeff” which had just popped into my head. Then I talked to someone named Jacob and I thought that would make a better name for a fundamentalist.

It wasn’t until pretty late into the editing cycle that Thomas had any type of description beyond height. 6’3″ seemed the top end of reasonably “really tall”. Having him so tall and Rebecca so short worked for the story because (1) they would be a memorable couple, which was important and (2) it gave Thomas a reason for not wanting to go out with Rebecca. One day, I was reading the story comments on LitE and someone complained that the author should have provided some description of the male character, so I gave Thomas a quick description. He had to look something like Caitlin, but different enough that Caitlin’s Italian looks would be a family joke.

What do I particularly like about this story?
* I think Thomas, Caitlin and Rebecca are well developed characters. They have their flaws that they struggle with throughout the story and learn to overcome some of them
* Devout Christians in literotica stories are usually total asses and/or hypocrites. I liked how I had Rebecca struggle with her faith
* The story has a lot of strong life messages in it – gambling is bad, telling people to wait until marriage to have sex causes them to get messed up, it takes a lot of patience to make a relationship work, sex is an important part of a relationship but not the most important part
* The story is really two romance stories, both of which end happily (though one more so than the other)
* It’s huge – around 34K words. Three big sex scenes. A lot happens in the story. It was a bitch to finish and to edit, but I am pleased that I pulled it off
* I spent a lot of time trying to reduce the wordiness of my prose. Hopefully I pulled it off

What do I think I might get grief about?
* The brother and sister not staying together. I am hoping Caitlin coming up to visit mentioned in the Epilogue offsets that
* I don’t know how people are going to react to Rebecca being a devout Christian. The devout Christians I have seen on Literotica (including my own story) are assholes and/or hypocrites
* No cruise that I could find was 8 days. No cruise line follows that itinerary. Cruise ships don’t have hand-scoop ice cream shops. The excursions came off of viator.com and may not be offered by cruise ships. I’m sure there are other details about the cruise I got wrong
* I have no clue if someone would have to fuck a small woman slowly because her vagina is so tight
* Some might find Rebecca’s story about Jacob boring. However, it sets up the final sex scene
* Thomas is just too nice
* People wanting the final sex scene to include some girl-on-girl action between Caitlin and Rebecca

What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None

What of note got cut from this story
* At one point, I was going to have as a side story that Caitlin was having man problems because of anger issues and refusing to give people the benefit of the doubt. Thomas gets her to see who giving people the benefit of the doubt will improve her life. There wasn’t enough time to shoe horn that into the story. Caitlin worked better as tough but fair woman
* I had several paragraphs about Rebecca having an elaborate braid at the start of the cruise and a fuller description of her braid at the end. I wanted people to think she had a braid at the end like the one the Rebekah Mikaelson had. In the end, I decided I was spend way too much time on Rebecca’s hair for very little value. I took out the braid in the first scene and reduced the braid at the end to an “elaborate braid”

Major editing changes for the story as it was written?
* Originally, there was no scene from Rebecca’s point of view. Instead, she comes back to the cabin, convinces Thomas to take her back, makes love to Thomas, then tells Thomas and Caitlin most of what was the scene from Rebecca’s point of view. There were a number of problems with that – her coming back comes out of the blue; the post-sex conversation was really, really long; there were reasons to doubt the sincerity of it
* I was going to cut the stripping scene out of the story as I felt people would want Rebecca to disappear as quick as possible so the story would move on to what interests them – the romance between Thomas and Caitlin. But my editor felt that Rebecca came across initially as a frigid bitch and no one would be happy to see her get back with Thomas over Caitlin. So I put back the strip scene and did some other changes to make Rebecca a more likable character

Any other notes?
* I thought about publishing the story as two chapters. I decided against it as (1) I personally rarely read chapter stories and I want to get this story as widely read as possible and (2) it is a complete story and I don’t want people thinking there will be more. I learned that lesson with Heather and Michael.

One thought on “Author’s Notes for “Cruise Doubledate With My Sister”

  1. Many cruises are 8 days and have hand scooped ice cream shops. Some are free, some are aka cart. You got the cruise details pretty good, but most cruises have lots of activities like comedy shows and theater that everyone does. Since you go into such great detail, seems strange your characters just ate, swam, gambled and danced.

    I agree with a lot of the criticism that the lies at the end to have a story made 0 sense. Why on Earth did they have to tell people they broke up on the cruise?? The old guy’s story was also very pointless. I get that Rebecca had to accept him fucking his sister or else, but from prude to incest accepting, threesome having girlfriend in 30 seconds makes her entirely unrealistic. I’m fine with unrealistic in porn stories, but it isn’t what you claim you are after.

    Like

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