I got a comment to my “My Daughter Interrupts My Work” that was comically offensive. The first part is:
To much BS
Like one of the other Commenters said: The Military and any other Gov entity that deals with classified info would NEVER have a computer set-up as mentioned in the story. Also, anyone with a clearance as high as you pretend to have would have had to display the ability to block out everything during a crises that was not part of the agency group assigned to that project etc. Dis-crediting yourself makes it hard to make-believe the rest of your story. To bad you failed to show the mans ability to prioritize and work around obstacles, instead you showed the guy as a pussy when it came down deciding between physical/sexual mental powers and positive duty performance of a covert defender of the USA.
I’ve been through this before – it’s a light stroke story. No, it isn’t realistic but neither are lots of stories and movies.
I must say your descriptions of the persons and scenes were just above average; keep trying. As I was told by one of the English Writing Profs in College; if you use your words to paint/produce images that are realistic your reader/audience will find it easiest to inject themselves into the story and realize and feel the writers visions and emotions.
I’m not a great writer, but I’d consider myself a good to very good writer. Other than this story, I’ve been getting scores between 4.6 and 4.7 for my recent stories. If this commenter was trying to encourage me, he/she did a terrible job of it. People who can’t spell “too” correctly shouldn’t lecture others on how to write.