General thoughts on my comments

I read over the comments to a couple of my stories today. What I was looking for was comments to the effect of “I knew what was going to happen”. I think I do a good job of letting people know early that these two characters are going to wind up declaring their total commitment to each other after a bout of hot sex, but keeping the readers guessing as to how they are going to wind up there. But the two most common themes to my comments were “I loved the slow build up” and “I loved the realistic characters”. And reading those two things makes me very happy.

6/26 Writing status

I’m working on the cousins story. One of my beta-readers has been encouraging me to work on it. Title and description currently are:

My Cousin Showed Me Around Campus
Then he showed me love

It’s at a little over 10K words. About to get to the point where the female cousin convinces the male cousin to be lovers. That’s going to be a long conversation. Then the sex scene. I’ll need to find some inspiration for that.

This weekend, I got an idea for another story

Background: Greg and Jill are cousins. Their parents are two sisters that married two best friends. Their families grew up down the street and around the corner from each other. Greg is the oldest of the cousins. Jill’s older sister is one school year behind Greg. The two families have three kids each, each two years after the prior. The six kids played constantly together growing up and were very close.

Jill shows up at the apartment of Greg. Greg is finishing his third year at college and Jill is about to graduate from high school. Jill has told her parents that she’s staying at a friends for the weekend. Jill tells Greg that she wants to really know what college life is like, not the sanitized version that gets told when her parents are around. Greg agrees to do that for her. Jill also wants to go to a college part and get plastered.

Greg takes Jill to the dorms and introduces her to his girlfriend from freshman year. Let’s call her Angie. Angie tells Jill what life in the dorms is like. Greg drifts in and out. Jill asks Angie and Greg why they broke up. It was over a cookie. Greg takes Jill out frisbee golfing with some friends. They tell Jill stories about going to classes as they play. Greg takes Jill over to an apartment where two couples live for dinner. The guys were Greg’s roommate and suitemate his sophomore year and Greg’s girlfriend at the time was the one who set them up with the girls they are living with. After dinner, Greg takes Jill to a house party. Angie arrives and takes Jill under her wing as they both proceed to get wasted. Greg checks in every now and then.

Eventually, Greg takes the stumble-drunk Jill and Angie out to his car and drives to the dorm. Angie talks about what a great time she had and how much she misses Greg. When they get up to the dorm room, Angie tries to convince Greg to come in and fuck her. When Greg mentions he has Jill, Angie says he can fuck her too while she watches. When Greg gets Angie’s dorm room door open, he declines. He basically shoves her in the room and closes the door after her.

Greg takes Jill back to his apartment. She tries to get him to fuck her and he says no. He has her fall asleep in his arms. In the middle of the night, she wakes up and starts throwing up. Greg comforts her and takes care of the mess. Jill realizes she’s in love with Greg.

When Jill wakes up again, she’s alone. When she staggers out of the bedroom, Greg is studying. He makes her breakfast and then tucks her back in bed. When she wakes up with the hangover gone, she has a talk with Greg. At some point, she tells Greg that he took advantage of her while she was drunk. Greg says he didn’t. Jill says she can prove it. She has Greg lie back down on his bed and she then snuggles into his arms. Jill tells Greg that she loves him. Greg tries to deflect her by saying they are cousins but Jill eventually gets Greg to admit that he loves her too. They have sex and agree to get an apartment together for the next school year.

The story would have lots of dialogue in it. Jill has always wondered what it would be like to spend time as an adult with Greg instead of as a family member. They have a great time together through the day.

I’d think it’d be a sweet love story. Sadly, I already have too many stories that I have plots for and not enough time to write them.

 

6/16 Writing status

Laurel said that the section she reviewed of “Daddy’s Little Spy” followed her rules. Everything that happens after that is when the daughter is eighteen, so I should be okay.

I’ve written 2200 words in the last two days on “Daddy’s Little Spy”. I’m getting up to the next sex scene. I dislike writing sex scenes, particularly vanilla ones. This is a vanilla as you get as it is a fuck on a bed between a couple who has been together for a while. Time to watch porn for inspiration. Or take a break and work on another story.

Being intentional while writing

I like giving readers feedback on their stories when they ask for it in Literotica’s Story Feedback forum. Of late, two other people have been giving feedback on stories that I give feedback on. We have different very different critiques of those stories. At times, the other two are like “Ignore that loon, 8letters.”

A lot of the contention is because I feel that an author should clearly define the context for his story and the other two critiquers don’t. For example, we all reviewed a story set in Feudal England where the main male character is a Norman noble. He basically parachutes into the story all alone with no description or backstory. We don’t even know his age. My feedback was that the story would have been better if the author had told us more about the main male character. The other two critiquers disagreed.

Coincidentally, I’m writing a Dad-Daughter story where we know almost nothing about the Dad. I don’t describe how he likes, what he does for a living, where he grew up, etc. I’m doing for him what the other author did for his Norman noble. And I’ve been thinking why I feel it is appropriate for my story and not for his.

What I’ve come up with is being intentional about the details. We authors need our readers to fill in the details and we should be intentional about the details we ask them to fill in. In my story, the main male character is the father of three children. How he interacts with his kids defines his character. The attraction that builds between him and his daughter comes out of those interactions. Where he lives, what he does for a living, where he grew up, etc aren’t germane to the story. By leaving them out, I’m making the character more universal and hopefully more people can put themselves in his shoes. On the other hand, we should know more about the Norman noble so that we can understand why the female main character falls in love with him.

Similar to that, I think it’s good for there to be unanswered questions in a story. In “My European Summer Vacation”, why did Sinead walk up to Noel and start talking to him? Eventually, I answered that question. But an author should be intentional about what questions are unanswered.

Thinking about to the feedback I gave the author, what I was trying to get across was that he was repeatedly unintentional about the details. It was like he had a great punch line but he wasn’t telling us enough details to set up the punch line.