Dear reader, it’s not all about you

I recently got the following comment on “My Cookie-Baking Sister”:

Good lord does this story need editing. Not just for the mistakes(though there were plenty of them, that’s for sure), but for content as well. Half of this could be cut and none of the plot would be lost. I don’t know why we needed page after page covering all the mundane details of his dad’s writing career. Not to mention the entire subplot with his roommate could have been dropped.

I also didn’t get the phone call between Justin and Kate on page four or five. He voices some very legitimate complaints about how he’s being treated by his parents, she completely dismisses them, and suddenly he feels better. Huh? He’s just gets over it because she points out that he can read a map and keep his mouth shut? Wow, okay.

Beyond that, there just wasn’t much to set this story apart from any other brother/sister romance.

“My Cookie-Baking Sister” is doing very well, with a 4.76 rating and 180K views. At the same time, I know that not everyone is going to like it. This commenter didn’t. Oh well.

The thing about this comment is that the certainty with which the commenter describes how the story should have been completely different. Lots and lots of people liked it the way it is. It’s not all about you, my friend.

Perhaps more importantly, this is the story I wanted to tell. I wanted to tell about the mundane details of the dad’s writing career. I wanted to write about the subplot of the roommate. I wanted to write a story where there’s a relationship between the brother and sister before they decide to start fucking. I only wrote the story because of the elements in it I enjoyed describing.

So to this commenter – get over yourself. You didn’t pay me to write that story. You didn’t give me an advance to write a particular type of story and I produced something that didn’t meet that agreement. I wrote something that I enjoyed writing and that I’d hope other people would enjoy reading. If you can’t accept that stories I write for free aren’t going to meet your exacting standards, then don’t read my stories anymore.

An interesting comment

I got this in a Private Message:

Loved Cruise Double Date except for the little bit about the gambling. I hate gambling too but the way Thomas acted when Jacob suggested black jack was quite a turn off. It made him  seem whiny and rude or antisocial. It would have made sense for him to act that way if he had admitted to himself that he was maybe feeling insecure or jealous about the ex being there and was acting out but instead the passage came off as Thomas just hating an activity, getting bored and basically telling the group your hobby is stupid I don’t like it so lets do what I like instead.

However your writing was great and your sex scenes were very hot so I was glad I continued reading.

To me, this comes down to how explicit an author should make things. As I wrote the scene, I thought it was obvious that the most upsetting thing to Thomas about the gambling was that Rebecca was supporting Jacob over him. Should I have explicitly said that, or should I have the reader read between the lines? I don’t think there’s a right answer as some readers will won’t things spelled out and others prefer reading between the lines. I’ve been taken to task by some authors for spelling things out too much for my readers.

“If you’re trying to be helpful, you’re not” comments

I got three Private Message comments today with no email address from I assume the same person.

The first:

“My Lingerie-Loving Sister Moves In”

Very hot story, I really enjoyed it.

You couldn’t choose a better author than SilkStockingLover as a role model. Note that she has several Editors.

Good Editors do a lot more than check spelling.

I won’t leave my name because I do Editing for some authors.


Cruise Doubledate is a good story but if I had written it, I think I would have condensed it some, but then I didn’t write it.

Since Thomas, Rebecca, Caitlin and Lisa are going to be in the same city, and Rebecca still needs some lessons, you might consider them all getting together and buying a big house like 4 or 5 bedrooms, with bathrooms off each bedroom.

There are still some errors that got missed, most are small, but not all of them.


My Sister Set Me Up On A Blind Date

Your Editors need some more training. There are a lot of errors in this story but I’m only going to point out the ones on last page. There are Two.

“appreciated” and “last”. The first one on the second line and the last one at approximately the 23 line.

The only way to edit work is from the doc or docx file.

I’m glad he/she enjoyed the stories. I think person is trying to be helpful, but he/she comes across as condescending instead.

Some specific rebuttals:
* As my editor is a volunteer, I’m thrilled with what he’s willing to do for free
* To me, if you’re not going to volunteer to edit, then shut up about me getting multiple editors
* As the person capitalizes words at random and badly wrote the last message, I doubt I’d enjoy working with him/her as an editor
* Saying “if I had written it, I think I would have condensed it some, but then I didn’t write it” is basically a sneer. How would you have condensed it? It’s a very complicated story and a lot of what happens in the story is for setting up something later. I don’t think it would be as easy to condense as the person thinks. Without a specific suggestion for condensing, I’ll never know
* The person demonstrates major reading comprehension issues by saying “Since Thomas, Rebecca, Caitlin and Lisa are going to be in the same city.” A major part of “Cruise Doubledate” is that Thomas wants to continue the relationship with his sister Caitlin after the cruise is over, but she repeatedly points out that it won’t work. And the biggest reason it won’t work is that she lives in Wachita (as does Lisa) and he lives in Boston
* The person said “Good Editors do a lot more than check spelling,” which is true. A good editor should know that four adults who’ve been working for only a short time “buying a big house like 4 or 5 bedrooms, with bathrooms off each bedroom” in an expensive housing market like Boston’s is a ridiculous idea
* “The only way to edit work is from the doc or docx file” – then the person couldn’t edit for me as there is no doc or docx file for the story. I use Scrivener to write my stuff, I embed HTML code for formatting and I do a big song-and-dance to generate a RTF file for my editor

Authors commenting on stories

I’ve recently gotten comments on “My Lingerie-Loving Sister Moves In” from other Literotica authors. One was from MajorRewrite, the author of the very, very popular Spring Break Wife (highly recommended):

5 stars
It’s cute, fun and sexy. The start is slightly clunky but the story quickly recovered and the slow build up from there was well done. I like detailed descriptions of the sexy things the hot babe is wearing.

The second was from MaryAnderson, one of the top 10 most popular I/T authors on Literotica right now:

If you want a patient well-told sister-brother sex/love story,
this comes highly recommended.

It’s been my experience that authors don’t often comment on other author’s stories. I rarely leave comments and I’ve rarely seen other authors leave comments on my stories. For me, almost all the stories I read I find disappointing. Good enough to get me off, but not good enough that I felt I could leave a positive comment. And I don’t want to leave a comment that says, “Your story was okay. Not bad, but not good.”

A nice comment

I was hoping “My Cookie-Baking Sister” would be published today, but it wasn’t 😦

I got a comment today on My European Summer Vacation (With+) I really liked:

Arn’t we Irish a strange lot ?
8 letters I really enjoyed your story I know Cork well but thankfully I’m not a Murphy. Sure there are far too many in the country anyways and we ??? can carry a ball better than any one :-). Maybe one day you can carry this story to a logical conclusion. After all they’re only getting started. I had my sister read this no ulterior motive but just for its creativity; although as she pointed out we had cousins who did marry and all was well with all their kids. So sorry about this we will be passing your story around to show there are some good things on Lit.
Mianta is fearr agus dea-ádh le do scríbhinn amach anseo

I spent a huge amount of time researching Cork and the Cork accent for that story and I’ve always wondered what someone Irish would think of it. Sounds like I did a good job. And passing around one of my stories I consider a compliment. Google translates the last line as Best wishes and luck to your future writing


A really nice comment I got yesterday

On “My Lingerie-Loving Sister Moves In”:

Damn, what a story……
Loved it,
Loved it, i liked it so much i sat and read it to my Wife, damn she only lay there masturbadting as i did.
About 2 weeks later we went out to a family get to gether, a birthday i think it was, anyway, part way through the night after she had enjoyed a few glasses of wine she sat in a darkish corner with just the dj’s light flashed now n then ….. she only flashed me some new sexy langerie, omg, she had never done this before, i was hard as a rock, imwanted to take her to the toilets but she said wait till we get home.
Thanks for one hell of a night we had, since then when i least expect it she surprises me with a flash, this whole story has changed our lives.
Thankyou so very much 😃😃😃😃😃😃

This comment made me very, very happy

From an anonymous PM about “My Sister Set Me Up on a Blind Date”:

Hey man, I really enjoyed the story and loved how you incorporated realistic elements, such as positive consent into it. It’s taught me to look at what I might have been doing wrong in my new relationship and take a step back to reevaluate what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Thanks for the material man. Keep on writing and I’ll see it around!

All of my stories contain a lot of advice about how I think guys should treat women. It makes me very happy that a reader took some of it to heart.

10/30 I get comments

PM’s from the same anonymous user. I thought they were interesting:

Comforting my little sister
This is not what I signed up for. When I come to this site, I expect to read a hot story about the start of an incestuous relationship between siblings. Not to be turned on for the first 2 and a half pages, have to read through a page of shit and then have to read about softcore heart string bullshit at the end.

Your story is a fucking blue ball. Stop it.

Cycling weekends with sis
I’m the same person.

This story isn’t a blue ball. Thanks.

My sister set me up on a blind date
This is quite possibly one of the best and most amazing stories I’ve ever had the enjoyment of jerking off to on this website. It’s much better than that blue ball one with the abusive boyfriend.

Different stories appeal to different people. I’m glad the commenter found one of mine that appealed to him.

I found it interesting that he kept reading my stories even after finding the first one “a fucking blue ball” (whatever that is).